Off the bat, I really wish I had the sands of time and start again from the 9th of May. I am not one to ever regret my own actions, they’re generally calculated and intentional. This time it’s my biggest regret and there is absolutely nothing I can do to fix it. No, I did not commit a crime – just said something I shouldn’t have as a joke to the wrong person. Despite that, it has been a good year. I’ve put on some big boy pants, built closer relationships with members of my family, and think I enjoyed myself a lot more than wallow in self-pity and self-destruction like in years past.
Lerato posted some cards on her IG page that kind of inspired me to write this post because I believe people should be celebrated especially if you hype each other up, and I also don’t want to be doing work that I’m actually supposed to do.
1. Your biggest influencer
Travel to British Colombia, Canada. My brother got married this year and his wedding was in Vancouver. I ended up going because of my ex-partner, she put the fear of God in me. It was about just over a month left till the wedding and I woke to get ready for work and thinking about what I was going to tell my brother. I was determined to just stay put and not go. As I stepped into the shower and had the water flowing through my body, my Ex crept into my subconscious and spoke some stern words into my ear as if she was there. My entire mood changed that day and did what I needed to do. Thank you Sibz. It wouldn’t have been another regrettable moment because I got to learn more about my family and also how to be more loving.
2. New discoveries
Yeah, this year there has been a lot of discoveries and beginning to wonder whether I am late to the party in terms of learning about them. It’s funny how it’s the most difficult/ugly experiences you go through are the ones that are the most liberating. One trait I discovered is that I am a justice type of person. I have a low tolerance for injustice and will get worked up very quickly.
3. Satisfaction with 2019?
When I saw this question I immediately felt jubilation. I feel proud of myself like I accomplished something major. Not quite sure what it is that I have achieved but I look back at the year and there has been a lot of fun moments.
What made this year a fulfilling is the fact that I’m learning to let go of bullshit, and try to look after myself more. I have been a lot more vocal in the form of writing and talking to people. It’s something that I would never envision myself doing years before. I also have crossed paths with a lot of interesting people this year, despite my cynical views on people. A lot of you have some interesting stories that need to be told, and I really hope that our relationship blossom into something meaningful.
3 weeks left till the end of the year, and decade. I am going to conclude the same fashion as last year, and that’s not been here. There is AfroPunk JHB this year and definitely looking for to that.